She Won't Reveal 21

            She Won’t Reveal (21)

                      Nidhu Bhusan Das

 At 7 a.m. it’s all bright. Brightness is conspicuous in its absence only on the face of Anu.The smile which kept her face always lit is gone. Her placidity is lost, only pangs and contradictions remain. She went to the room of Angshu and called him. Told him to come soon to have breakfast. She went to the garden and asked Prafullada to be ready for breakfast. Now she’s in the kitchen to get the food ready. She remembered her parents, busy professionals, would never fail to do such domestic chores like preparing breakfast and have it together with all family members. Her papa would go every morning to the market to buy daily necessities, particularly the perishable items like fish, meat and vegetables. Both the parents were respectful to her Thammi, would never go against her advice and injunctions. That’s a great protection for her, and that’s, perhaps, the reason she’s developed a no-care attitude in the latitude Thammi allowed her out of affection. So, Thammi’s thought to be her only friend and mentor at home. Her parents couldn’t give her time up to her expectation.

            Breakfast today’s in the room of Anu since it’s a family matter that would be discussed. At 7.30 a.m. they gathered in the room. Anu tried to put on a brave face, which is her wont when she’s in crisis and wonky.

“Prafullada, you’ll stay with me, won’t you?” she asked in an authoritative tone.

A silence followed. Prafullada kept mum, his eyes downcast, glistening like the rain which falls through the sun rays. He’s happy that he could take the decision to leave and feels the agony that he’d bid her adieu soon. He won’t like to repeat that he would leave because he understands the next question would begin with a ‘Why’ which he cannot answer. He’s reluctant to say anything which may appear to her unpalatable. He’s many questions in his mind regarding her relations with the parents and Arup, the Sadhana and her general mode of living, her rash actions and recent behaviour with Angshu.He’s scared that he may also have to, one day, swallow the invectives which she could, for reasons of her own, hurl at him. He’d the fond desire to go to the parental house of Anu to re-lay their garden.Anu’s mother told him about her plan to take him for the purpose. Now he wants to be away from here in no time. He feels time’s running out. No more of emotional attachment, no more dithering.Anu may chart her course of action.

            The silence of Prafullada stunned Anu. She looked at him, intent. Was she trying to read the mind of the gardener? Psychology fails when the psychologist’s out of tune, and his/her mind’s turbulent. This may happen in case of Sadhana as well if the parapsychologist loses tranquility of mind, and is out of tune with the surroundings.So, Anu’s gaze was just vacant, and her mood was pensive. The coffee cooled, the food remained untouched. A gloom descended on the scene. A monosyllabic utterance broke the eerie silence when Anu laboriously said,” Wait” and ambled into the room of Thammi.Prafullada and Angshu looked on, their lips tight.

“What can I do, Thammi?” asked Anu.

“Think yourself Annu, the solution is with you,” Thammi suggested, noncommittal.

“Won’t you help and support me like in the past?” asked Anu, helpless.

“I’m there with you, Annu. You can do it, I tell you.”

“How! I don’t understand,” Anu’s candid.

“Abjure your ego, go and talk to them. Listen to them; try to understand them and your mistakes. They love you and are your well wishers,” she kissed Anu and fondled her as she burst into tears.

She rose slowly; winced at the memory of the stupid things she did and waddled to her room to face again Prafullada and Angshu.

Wiping the eyes with the corner of her scarf Anu Said,” I’m doomed, I’m alone, and I’ve lost everyone. Maybe, I’m arrogant, I fly into rage, and often.This is my fault, serious fault. Please forgive me, Prafullada, Angshu. I love you, believe me.”

“You‘re arrogant because you cannot but be so. You’ve lost your sense of proportion. You’ve gone beyond your capacity. You stretched your capacity to the breaking point,” said Prafullada, desperate.Anu swallowed.

“The other day a couple came to inspect the house. They said they’re going to buy the bungalow. Have you planned to sell it?” asked Prafullada.

“Yes, I’ve.Is it a big deal?” she shot back.

“We’re sure it is. They said you’ve resigned, and are no longer with the LIC. Is it true?”

“It’s true. So what! Does it mean the hell’s broken on us?”

“Yes, we’re in hell now. You’ve created the hell for you and for all of us.”

“We’ll be able to survive the crisis,”Anu asserted.

“Next to impossible, if you don’t change. Resist yourself from the temptation of building castle in the air, dear.”

“Dada, please, bear with me.”

“Yes, I’ll. But you must change. You must withdraw the resignation and stop thinking of disposing of the bungalow. Would you?”Prafullada’s straight forward now.

“Well, I’ll, definitely.”

“Why have you maltreated Angshu? What’s his fault?”

“I’ll mend my way. I love Angshu.I was disturbed. You don’t know Dada how much people disturb me, particularly one at office.”

“Who’s that particular one?”

“Arup’s sister. She always spies on me, conspires against me.”

“How come, you’re in the same office?”

“Arup got it done, ostensibly to take care of me.”

“I understand. You’re under their surveillance, and you enjoy it. You feel good that Arup’s interested.”

“No, Dada. Believe me, I’ll never go back to him, even though she constantly persuades me, and tries to put me in trouble so that I’d bow to them.”

“What does she tell?”

“She tells me to marry Arup.”

“Are you sure you haven’t the faintest desire?”

“Hundred percent, Dada.”

“I’ve another suggestion.”

“Please tell.”

“You must build bridge with your parents.”

“Well, I’ll do that.”

“Telephone your mom, right now, and request them to come to you as soon as possible.”

“But they don’t like me.”

“Who said? You’re misled, misguided somehow, maybe by interested people. I’ve seen how your mom’s anxious about your future while she’s here. You didn’t have proper attention, didn’t take leave even for a day. You’re arrogant, rather.”

            The conversation broke off as Sujata and Prof. Sanyal called her. Anu went out, eager. They hugged her. It’s a poignant moment.Sujata cried and Anu couldn’t hold back tears. ( continued on 9^th October 2014 )