She Won't Reveal 46

          

          She Won’t Reveal (46)

                      Nidhu Bhusan Das

            “LET us go then, you and I”

“The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock”

“What’s that?”

“A poem by T.S. Eliot.”

“What’s it about?”

“Oh, do not ask ‘What is it?”’

“What’s the problem?”

“In the room the women come and go/Talking of Michelangelo.”

“So what!”

“It’s modern day moral and spiritual vacuity, dear,” explained Sujata “that’s the problem with your Arup.”

“How?”

“Prufrock relays the thoughts of a sexually frustrated man who wants to say something but is afraid to do so, and ultimately does not, as your Arup came to convey but couldn’t.”

“Forget Arup.He isn’t relevant in my life,” Anu asserted.

“Is it?” Sujata asked, with an impish smile.

   “Yes dear, definitely because ‘But I have promises to keep/ And miles to go before I

   sleep/ And miles to go before I sleep.’’’

“What promises and to whom?”

“To the wide world, to my parents, to you and your son,” Said Anu categorically.

“Won’t we sleep now?”

“Let’s.”

“Then how would you keep your promises?”

“This sleep is rest only, dear,” explained Anu.

“Then you’ve promises to Arup to keep before you sleep with him, perhaps?”

“I see, you’re also a fool.”

“Why?”

“Don’t understand Arup is dead for me?”

“I can’t believe, somehow.”

“Should I die to prove it?”

“You should live to prove.”

“That I will do with your support. Your son and you’re my mentors.”

“Your parents?”

“They’re my children. I will have to live for them.”

“Means you enjoy being like a mother, isn’t it?” Sujata suggested.

“No, I like being a mother,” Anu asserted without thinking.

“A virgin mother?” Sujata asked obliquely.

“A biological mom.”

“But Arup’s, you’ve said, dead for you.”

“I haven’t Arup in mind.”

“Then?”

“Then what?”

“Who’s the other man?”

“Don’t know,”Anu said, visibly taken aback.

“You’re really a mystery, difficult to understand, really, a puzzle indeed,” Sujata’s quick to react.

“Dear, why didn’t you have a bf, usual for our Y-gen?”Anu asked, casually.

“Because I don’t belong to your generation,”Sujata’s prompt.

“But we’re peers!”

“In physical age, not mentally. I’m the real mom of my parents and my son. By the way, I think Arup’s lucky. He could find and marry a virgin mom,” Sujata insinuated.

“Virgin mom! Mita? You don’t know. It’s an interesting story.However, you won’t believe me, think I’m jealous,” Anu snapped.

“Why, can’t there be a virgin mom like Kunti? What the tantric literature says and your sadhana?”

“I know the father of the child. It isn’t Arup.”

“I see, you’d been in a vicious circle!”

“Don’t go for such hasty generalization, please Sujata.”

“Well, if you don’t like…”

“Do you think I’m naughty, involved in nasty things?”

“Forget. Let’s not dwell on things unpalatable.”

“But I won’t remain misunderstood.”

“Do you mind being misunderstood? Had it been so you wouldn’t, perhaps, cling to Arup, snap relations with parents, go for sadhana with guruji, give indulgence to the whore Anuradha and remain linked with Jerry, the incarnation of evil and Maqbool? Do you think what you’re in is sane?” Sujata’s forthright, sadly.

    Anu couldn’t cry at the outburst of her buddy, she couldn’t even sob. The whole world of her past association for pleasure hovered over her to tumble her to the ground and beneath. She only looked on blankly and couldn’t see even Sujata sitting before her. Her sight had become hazy as the mind’s being dashed and lashed by the turbulent waves of terrible remembrances. She hasn’t learnt how to repent. She grew pale, unable to answer. She’s led a life without moorings, roaming between extremes of Yankee values and tantric misrepresentation. She stooped forward in a stance and tumbled on Sujata, unaware.

     Sujata knew it’s the result of her sense of alienation. She remembered way back on 16 May 2010 Anu’d the same kind of sickness. She’s there to nurse her back to health and heartiness. She’s relating how Arup stunned her.” I’m leaving tomorrow for the US to study medicine,”Arup informed Anu at the university cafeteria in the afternoon.”Why, we planned to go together to study film,” she said despaired.” that isn’t possible, dear,”he said, smiling and sought to plant a departing kiss on her. She resisted and ran to the room in the hostel, tumbled on the bed of Sujata.

    While nursing Anu with the head of the buddy on  her lap,Sujata’s keeping track on the scores of the semi-final match of the Cricket World Cup 2015 at Sydney Cricket Ground, Australia between India and the hosts. She’s tensed as India had to chase 327 of Australia who captured two Indian wickets in quick succession. The performance of Vice Captain Virat Kohli, out on 1 facing 13 balls despite the presence of his gf, Bollywood actress Anushka Sharma, at the stands was disturbing, she thought. Kohli failed to gauge the extra bounce off a Johnson delivery going for a pull and spooned it for Brad Haddin to have a simple catch.

     Sujata dreamt that back to normal Anu looked at her face and said,” Look sad, but why?”

“It’s all about a gf who cheered her bf to disaster,” Sujata said, perturbed.

“Who’re they?”

“Anushka and Kohli.”

“You mean the marriage of Bollywood and cricket?”

“It’s your opinion. I see the disaster for the bf, as in your case it’s just the opposite,” Sujata blurted.(continued on 2 April 2015)