Meaningful Absurdity

Nidhu Bhusan Das :

‘Do you believe you are in my mind?’ she writes on my wall. In fact, I could not understand the rhyme and reason of such a query. True, Rubina is my friend in the Facebook. I found logic in accepting her offer of friendship. She is an alumnus of English Department of Dhaka University and junior to me by five years. I cannot ignore anything that belongs to or is related to English Department of my alma mater. Naturally, I thought Rubina should be my friend. I read her profile minutely and noticed her profile picture. A good girl, arguably. She writes short stories and anecdotes, sends me links, and I comment on them with pleasure. She is also a keen reader of my articles and stories.
Rubina, as the profile says, is a professor of English in Eden College, Dhaka. Eden College inspires nostalgia as I would often visit my sister there and eventually developed friendship with Rokeya who was the roommate of my sister in the college hostel. We three would often go out and spend time at Ramna Park in the afternoon. My sister was quite naughty and had a plan to build a bridge between her roommate and me. Rokeya found logic in her suggestion that a nuptial knot with me could keep the two roommates emotionally bound for life. Such ideas occur in adolescence and early youth. In course of time, every one of the friends of my sister and Rokeya came to understand that we have settled for a marriage, and she was betrothed to me.
Yes, the marriage would take place had Rokeya survived the crackdown of Pakistani occupation Army on Bangladesh. I remember we took her to Sadar Ghat, Dhaka where she boarded the Barisal bound steamer five days before 25 March 1971, the day the Pakistan Army began brutal attack on the civilian people of Bangladesh to save Pakistan. After the nine-month liberation war Rokeya did not return to her college. We went to their house in Jhalakathi only to be informed that she had been taken away by the army men and never returned. I decided I would never be tied in wedlock. Rokeya is still alive in my mind. I do not have any other girl to think of. I do not encourage any romantic overtures.
Rubina’s wall post may have different meanings. For me, yes, she is in my mind because she is a friend. It is not a belief, it is a fact. So, the question is absurd. It smacks of stupidity. But why a professor in her mid-fifties should display her imbecility to a friend? Rubina is a widow and childless. Her husband, Dr. Shakeel Ahmed, a reputed neuro-surgeon of Dhaka Medical College Hospital died in a car crash in the city in six months of their wedding. This was shocking and Rubina broke down. It took years for her to come to terms with the reality. Her autobiographical story ‘Adieu Shakeel’ reveals her mind – in - shock following the death. Does Rubina want to extract a ‘Yes’ from me to feel good knowing that someone is there to love her? Is it that she feels lonely and the need for a shared life as she is inching towards the twilight of life? This is really a critical juncture in the life of a loner. A sense of helplessness creeps in. Such other questions stirred my mind. I thought I should let her feel good.
I did not know if a lone ‘Yes’ could make her happy, or I should send her an elaborate mail demonstrating my tenderness. I said to myself ‘if I am uninfluenced by her post why should I go for elaboration; if I am unaffected by what appears to be her overture towards me, I should not respond. In case I do not, the friendship could terminate. Do I want it? Facebook friends fill my lonely moments with interactions. Can I afford to do away with it? No, I cannot.’ I decided I would send a ‘Yes’ only and wait for the next move of Rubina. Will it be absurd? Rubina may find meaning in the single word.