She Won’t Reveal (27)
Nidhu
Bhusan Das
It’s the night of
suffering and waking dream for all in the house. Thammi in her room was
pondering on the evolving situation which’s heart-rending for her. Lying on her
back, she stared at the ceiling. She knew her ANNU’s star-crossed, so she’s concerned,
and apprehended her grand daughter might be desperate and rash even to the
extent of being sadistic.Thammi’s disturbed ANNU’s often misunderstood although
she’s clean in conscience. She remembered her son and daughter-in-law and thought
of sadly their agony, and how much upset they might have been all these years,
their only child being away from them snapping relation. Her heart bled and
she’s unable to bear the trouble that terribly shook her mind. Tears rolled
down the corners of her eyes. It’s all hell for her.
At dawn when Sujata’s
eye-lids’re down, Anu tiptoed into the room of Thammi.She felt pity for the
granny, rubbed her soft palm on the forehead of the grand old lady while her
tears rained down and mixed with that of her mentor. The face of the lady thus
became the confluence of the distress of the two.Thammi’s aware of the presence
of Anu but didn’t feel like looking at and talking to her. She murmured,”God,
how long should I bear the burden of guilt and grief,” and turned to the left.Anu’s
sitting on her right.Anu stooped and with the mouth down to her ear called
“Thammi”.She didn’t respond. Anu remained stuck to her side, understood
Thammi’s disturbed and mightn’t be happy with her. She lay beside the grand old
lady and contemplated.” No, I won’t do anything which could hurt Thammi any
more,” she resolved.” I’ll go by what Sujata and her son tell me to do,” she decides.”
I must have been wrong anyway, and they’ve rushed to me guided by love, reason
and goodwill,” she understood.
“But why Anuradha’s had
such an enquiry. She’s never asked me such a question since we came to know
each other about two years from now,” Anu tried to understand.
“Maybe, Maqbool
exaggerated our relations. He’s often overzealous. This is a trouble with him,”
she tried to analyze.
“The Kashmiri boy one day
proposed after I’d fallen out with Arup.I didn’t reciprocate,” remembered Anu.
“Does he have the mind to
have both Anuradha and me? They don’t have any problem to be in polygamy. His
father is well-disposed with three consorts who’re all happy,”Anu perceived.
“Why should I share bed
with Anuradha? I’ll never tie knot, will only be in sadhana.I told him. He’s a
fool or might be desperate,” she introspected.
“I shouldn’t have inspired
him to befriend Anuradha.However; she isn’t supposed to know I’m behind their friendship.
But why should she be in love with a complete stranger, that too with a boy
from a different religion. It’s one thing to be an e-friend, I’ve never before heard
of an e-lover,” she argued.
“A few days back she told
me she couldn’t live without Maqbool.Strange, indeed. She’s stupid. But I
cannot but like her. She’s innocent. I understand her situation and sentiment.
Even today I cannot forget Arup. The memory of Arup prevents me from being the
wife of any other man. But Arup’s my classmate from nursery. When and how our
friendship turned into a love affair we couldn’t understand,” Anu recapitulated.
“I’ve told her my story of
failed love, and she said her life’d be sad like that of mine if she loses Maqbool.She
loves him madly. Love’s madness, isn’t it?” she asked herself.
“Well, I shouldn’t
continue to be entangled in their affairs,”Anu decided.
“But feel I’m guilty
because I’ve inspired and directed the friendship and love they’re in,”Anu
thought aloud conscientiously.
But Sujata’s her own
perception and interpretation of the situation, the fiasco. Her long-held
conviction about Anu’s about to crumble. She’s constrained to think and believe
that her long-time friend could be involved in such a dangerous game involving
an innocent girl.” Is not it a kind of perversion?” she thought. Her son Prof
Sanyal thinks alike but feels the responsibility of bringing Anu back to track,
to her original sense and sensibility. He’s determined to try it
optimistically.Prafullada and Angshu’re morose and despondent. They couldn’t
anticipate what’s in store.
Back in Jalpaiguri in West
Bengal Anuradha’s at a loss. She hadn’t responded to repeated calls from Maqbool,
and now her cell phone’s switched off. Delhi
“It’s been imbecile on my
part to take the virtual world as the world of reality,” she tried to
understand.
”But can people be so rude
and mischievous? Maybe, Maqbool’s tried to trap me. In that case couldn’t ma’am
have alerted me? I respect her, trust her sincerely, I depend on her
completely. Why hasn’t she guided me?” she’s puzzled.
“I believe ma’am is an
ideal person, a friend indeed, a reliable guide. She’s been a heavenly guide
for me online. I shouldn’t misunderstand her. She must have a solution to my
problem with Maqbool,” she thought looking at the profile picture of Anu
online.
“But ma’am writes in the
latest e-mail ‘many told at our college that Maqbool’s an abandoned child, a
pimp which we didn’t take seriously since we didn’t have interactions with the
boy having effeminate manner. Why’s she put out the information at this
juncture? She could have done this much earlier, isn’t it? What more does she
holds undisclosed about Maqbool?” she thought seriously.
“Why’s ma’am become so
irritated when I quoted that Maqbool told she also loved him? Is it that Maqbool
lied? Why should he trade in lies which might jeopardize our relation?” the
questions agitated her mind.
“Ma’am said I’ve developed
love relation with Maqbool without her knowledge. But I’ve kept her informed of
every bit of our amorous advances. She’s never discouraged it. Rather her
responses encouraged me. I don’t know if I failed to understand her,” she’s
confused.
“Ma’am is furious. She’s
asked me not to contact her and has wished that I be happy. How can I be happy
without Maqbool? She should understand that because she’s the experience of
failed love and consequent sadness. She’s shared that with me,” Anuradha remembered.
“Should I dash her an
e-mail simply saying,’Ma’am do you want that my life be as sad and rudderless
as yours?’ Will it be the right thing to do?” she’s clueless.
“No, it won’t be the right
thing to do. Maybe, she’s disturbed. Does really Maqbool’ve a love relation
with ma’am? If so, why she’d encourage us to be in love and to marry? Is it
that she likes to see me lovelorn as she is? Is it correct? She’s a sensible
and caring lady, absorbed in sadhana. She once said, ‘Maqbool is for you, only
for you, Anuradha, none other than you’ve right to have him.’ Who could be the other
she might have meant? Is it she herself? I didn’t ask her, she told that
unasked for.Why? Does it betray her emotion? In that case, what Maqbool claimed
about her love for him may not be discounted as false. God, please help me! I’m
in a critical moment. I can’t believe a virtuous lady like ma’am can do what Maqbool
claimed. But Maqbool’s also a good boy, he cannot be a pimp as ma’am had heard
at college,” Anuradha’s unable to comprehend.(to be continued on 20th November 2014)
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