She Won't Reveal 16

                           She Won’t Reveal (16)

                    Nidhu Bhusan Das

Even in December noon Sujata was perspiring. It wasn’t because she’s tensed. Juliet’s with Anu.Sujata’s relieved. Guwahati also has the impact of global warming. But Prof. Sanyal’s sweating profusely even under the fan-at-full-speed. Concerned about Anu, his mind’s turbulent. Outside leaves were almost stationary. The north wind’s forgotten the city for now at least. But a tempest’s blowing in the mind of the professor. Alone in the flat, he’s reminiscing, and was in anxiety for Anu who, he felt, was a victim of maniac depression.

 Sujata, after lunch, took Anu to the LIC Regional office wherefrom she’d journey to the new rural branch to officiate as manager for a few days. A junior colleague of Sujata accompanied Anu. Sujata asked the colleague Juliet Sangma to take care of Anu and never to leave her alone. After see-off she came straight to Professor Sanyal’s flat. She’s on leave for a week. The Professor was waiting for the report on the arrangement of the journey. He’d in hand the book Psychology of Love by William Aston. Opening the door he asked,” Everything alright?” Sujata assured,” Juliet’s with her, no problem. She’ll take care.” They sat face to face on the sofa to discuss more the issue of Anu to find a remedy, if possible.

“Maa, is it that she loved only Arup, and there’s none else to have her tenderness equally? Or Arup didn’t suspect the presence of a second lover?” asked the Professor pointedly.

“You may say she’s like the Duchess in the poem My Last Duchess by Robert Browning.”

”She smiled to and favoured all and sundry which wasn’t to the liking of the Duke.”

“Anu once told me, when Arup called her PUTUL, the face of Maqbool’d emerge before her,” broke Sujata for the first time.

“Who’s Maqbool?” enquired the Professor, searching for a clue.

“Maqbool Abdullah, a Kashmiri boy, our classmate at college.”

“Was there any love lost between them?”

“He’d a dimple on the left cheek, and she’d poke the dimple, and they’d hearty laugh.”

“Interesting!”

“She confided to me once she told him ‘I like you, Maqbool!’ ’Like your study, girl’ he replied, smiling.”

“Did Arup know it?”

“Not unlikely. You know, she’s candid.”

“Was it for this she became eager to arrange his marriage with Mita?”

“That’s a different story. She’s generous, really. People don’t understand or value such generosity. Arup’s understood.”

“Where’s Maqbool, now?”

“In Delhi.”

“Are they in relationship still?”

“They’re in communication, but she’s arranged his affair with one of her friends. She monitors the progress.”

“Will you call it normal behaviour of a girl-in-love?”

“It’s a riddle. But here’s also her generosity. She’s decided she won’t marry.”

“I understand Arup’s a nice man, and he isn’t to be blamed.”

“Anu doesn’t blame him.”

“She shouldn’t,” the Professor’s obviously serious.

“Son, my buddy’s unlike other girls of her age. She can make sacrifice.”

“But cannot forget what she sacrifices. Why does she not erase Arup from memory? Such sacrifice cannot make you happy. And she isn’t.”

“It’s a different life, son.”

“Well, tell me how.”

Arup cannot forget her. He remembers her often. How can she be dead? It’s telepathy.”

“Telepathy also involves a kind of messaging, a sender and a receiver; in this case Anu’s the receiver in the first instance. If she doesn’t react to the stimulant from Arup, it cannot happen.”

“That’s true, son. But it’s great the relationship sustains even after it’s undergone a change.”

“I can’t agree, Maa. The agony sustains, not the love.”

“The agony engenders from love.”

“No, not at all. The memory’s the source of the agony.”

“Maybe. Once she told me tears fill her eyes when she remembers the situations of their being together, philandering.”

“It’s her psychic problem, difficult to overcome.”

“Exactly. She said it’s difficult to forget those moments, they’re poignant.”

“Let me consult the leading psychiatrists. List all you know about her and her relations. These inputs will be vital clues to solutions.”

Anu’s impulsive and headstrong. It’s a combination fraught with problems. You cannot be practical with such a combination. Reason yields to rashness. She’s the victim to rashness. If she cannot change, she may lose more. That will be a serious psychological setback for her. But she must be saved anyhow. She’s a great soul. We cannot afford to lose her.Sujata loves her. It’s important, thought the Professor.

Anu reached Tyrna village in Meghalaya after an 11-hour drive at 9 a.m. and telephoned Sujata and her son back home. She along with Juliet went straight to the new office decorated with floral festoons and vases. She felt elated for being here as one specially chosen by the management for launching the operation of the branch. Juliet, as requested by Sujata, followed her like a shadow. Anu’s smiling face instantly endeared her to the colleagues and the potential customers. She set to business and urged the guests to choose policies. The opening day saw brisk business. At 5 p.m. she and Juliet boarded the car to go to the hotel in the nearby town. They had their bath in the hotel and ordered snacks. They’re in the balcony, having snacks and coffee. The sky’s blue and birds flying southward.Anu loves Nature. She said,” I envy the tranquility of the sky. Peace reigns here. God blesses the firmament with joy.”

“Why do we look up to the sky, often?” Juliet’s curious.

“Because the mind tends to ascend.”

“And the reason that Nature attracts?”

“The mind expands when we can observe and study her. She brings joy and heals the wounds. She’s innocent.”

“Ma’am.what’s joy?”

“Depends. It varies from person to person. When you’re in joy you’re exalted, and vice versa.”

“Who’re in joy? How do we know?”

“Those who’re deep in the study of Creation unaware of themselves are in joy.”

“But such people are rare.”

“Joy isn’t for all and sundry.”

“Are you in joy?”

How can I be? I’m still concerned with the mundane. I haven’t been able to lose myself.”

“You mean an ascetic can be in joy.”

“Probably you can say so.”

“Do you strive to be an ascetic?”

“It’s difficult, but one should try. If you succeed you can enjoy the bliss of a world unique in itself.”

“Where does this world exist?”

“It’s in your exalted mind.”

“How can we’ve the exalted mind?”

“Through meditation. See how Nature, the sky, the mountains are always in meditation. They’re vast in size and profound in essence.”

As the tranquil evening progressed, Anu suggested they might have a walk. They went out and strolled along the pavement of the boulevard. While Juliet enjoyed the beauty of the lit buildings and starry sky, Anu’s mind reached the essence which is the reality behind the world we see around. This essence is the Truth, and the world around is the appearance of the reality, the appearance of Truth. Anu’s in two minds- will she ascend for ever or stay back for her son and uncertain love? (continued on 31^st July2014)